Book summary by the author: Ruth, Bernard is about learning that the obstacles to achievement are often just excuses and flimsy reasons we make up in our heads
These reasons and excuses get in the way of solving the actual problem: our behaviour.
As a result, we end up making the same mistakes over and over again.
Fortunately, as this book summary will show you, by learning to know that reasons and excuses are illusions,
You can really start to change your behavior and take the first step to becoming an achiever. But what are the next steps?
Chapter one
The foundation of the achievement habit is bridging the gap between what you do and what you want
Think of the number of people who dream of starting their own business, but end up working for someone else.
Why, because they haven’t learned to bridge the gap between what they want and what they actually do.
Look at it this way: There is a fundamental difference between trying and doing
Imagine that you want to take something from someone’s hand: if you start with just an attempt, you might alert the other person and thus strengthen their grip.
In this case, you did not use enough force and did not act quickly.
If you simply did it, instead of trying, the other person wouldn’t have time to resist you, this is just an example
The point is, the only obstacle is you. Everything else is just an excuse or mental limitation.
In other words, if you are not happy with some aspect of your life, you can change it.
Here’s the thing: Life is basically an exercise in problem-solving — and that’s not a bad thing.
Problems are opportunities to learn and move forward. And learning how to use problems to your advantage is exactly what the achievement habit is all about
An important aspect of the achievement habit comes from design thinking.
It is a set of practices designers often use in their work, which is being open to failure.
Failure pretty much defines every success story.
Oprah was fired from her first job as a TV anchor. But failure did not stop her, but motivated her!
Of course for most of us, motivation is the hard part. The school trains us to work towards high grades and grades
But in life, often, there is no revealing points. So in adulthood, most of us have to train ourselves to be motivated
Chapter II
To become an achiever, stop giving a fixed meaning to everything in your life
We assign meaning to everything. Whether we think of an incompetent boss or home ownership,
We tend to forget the fact that our perception is subjective. The meaning is not fixed. It’s a matter of personal perspective.
For example, your incompetent boss might dazzle you maybe tomorrow, and come up with some great ideas.
And you yourself are equally capable of renewal and change. No one is just one static face, it’s not you or your boss or your spouse or anyone
And if you can overcome the tendency to give you a fixed meaning to everything, you can start to direct failure more productively.
Because failure is nothing but disaster, if that’s what you call it.
No one keeps a record of your failures and successes – only you can give meaning to your life.
Here’s a solid fact: you have control over the meaning of your own experience
The author realized this fact when two of his friends were diagnosed with Alzheimer’s disease. And how do each of my sick families deal with this matter.
The first patient’s family tried to stay positive and have fun despite the illness; They always looked forward to visiting their relative.
The other family set themselves up as victims of a terrible fate, decimated by the loss;
The experience of visiting loved ones has always been traumatic and uncomfortable
And as you can see, the meaning of these two families regarding the disease had a great influence on their experience with it.
You can become an achiever by using this insight, to stop rating the world. After all, fixed meanings stand in the way of achievement.
For example, imagine losing your job. Calling yourself a « loser » would be meaningless, because that’s just a label that doesn’t make sense and prevents you from getting over the setback.
Chapter III
Make decisions and change your behaviour
We always seem to put reasons behind everything. Imagine that you opened the door to an old lady in the morning. Then later in the day, you win an unexpected amount somehow.
You may tell yourself that you have been rewarded for doing good. But in fact, your behavior has nothing to do with it. The relationship between these two events is correlative, not causal
You may understand this fact on a logical level. However, there are other possibilities.
Say, when you are late for a meeting, it is likely that you will look for an external cause that is not related to you – such as traffic on the road.
But in fact, you knew that there would be heavy traffic on your way, so you could have left earlier to avoid being late.
You’re late simply because you didn’t make the meeting a priority
The problem is that blaming external factors prevents you from making decisions decisively and from changing your behavior
Actually making decisions is hard, but it can be made easier thanks to a method called the gun test
For example, when there is a big decision to be made in the workplace, start by outlining the pros and cons of each option.
Then point your finger at who has to decide and give them 20 seconds.
This rapid-fire approach works because whoever has to make the decision, has already decided –
He is just reluctant to commit.
Further thinking probably won’t change the outcome or lead to a better decision, so it’s best to make the decision and move on
After all, if you identify the typical « journey of life » – you will understand that almost all roads lead in the same direction:
Work, start a family, buy a house…etc.
But you can’t anticipate all the other things that will come your way. This is why you must adopt a bias toward action and a tolerance for failure
the fourth chapter
The best way to solve a problem is to rephrase it
We often think that the road to a desirable destination is dead-end, due to lack of money, lack of the right people, or any other reason.
But as we have suggested, the best way to overcome a perceived obstacle is to reframe our perspective on it.
Of course, for this to work, you have to deal with the actual problem and not something else. So,
Once you determine the true nature of your problem, looking for a solution to it may seem like the next natural step. .
But before you do that, try to rephrase the problem
For example, a friend of the author complained that he could not sleep because his bed was broken.
He tried to solve the problem by fixing the bed, he tried many ways to fix it, but all of them failed.
Then he asked himself, “What do I really want? Fix this bed, or get a good night’s sleep in any bed?”
When he realized that the solution to his problem had nothing to do with the old broken bed. He wanted to sleep well, so he went ahead and bought himself a new one
Likewise, sometimes the obstacles are just a matter of language. If you change the way you describe something, it may stop being an obstacle.
This method is as simple as swapping the word « but » for « and ». If you say, « I want to go to the movies, but I have to work, » you’ve created a conflict that may not necessarily exist.
Alternatively, you could phrase it like this: « I want to go to the movies and I have to work. »
By the same token, saying you « want » to do something will motivate you much more than saying you « should » do something.
Chapter V
Achievement is rarely solitary: learn from others and share your own knowledge with them
It is likely that you will not be able to achieve anything on your own. you will need help,
So find people whose accomplishments align with your goals
. You don’t have to follow their lead, but you can learn from them. And don’t just focus on the positive traits: paying attention to the negative traits is helpful, too
. To that end, think of Gandhi: He was an amazing teacher, but a terrible father.
His wife and children reportedly felt that he had never cared for them
. So you can look to Gandhi as an exemplary teacher, but take his personal life as an example of something you wouldn’t want for yourself
The point is, if you want to have a fulfilling life, find real human relationships instead of using others to climb the ladder.
Get to know the people around you.
Also, there is no reason to be so protective of your ideas and resources – share your knowledge with others
Unfortunately, the world of work is often lacking in true collaboration and creativity.
But you can work around these norms by changing the physical conditions around you, such as having people sit in circles during meetings
. Create a flat hierarchy to facilitate open and creative exchange. make room for fun,
Even during serious conferences. Taking these steps will make the bottom line better for everyone involved
Chapter six
Achievement is rarely solitary: learn from others and share your own knowledge with them
It is likely that you will not be able to achieve anything on your own. you will need help,
So find people whose accomplishments align with your goals
. You don’t have to follow their lead, but you can learn from them. And don’t just focus on the positive traits: paying attention to the negative traits is helpful, too
. To that end, think of Gandhi: He was an amazing teacher, but a terrible father.
His wife and children reportedly felt that he had never cared for them
. So you can look to Gandhi as an exemplary teacher, but take his personal life as an example of something you wouldn’t want for yourself
The point is, if you want to have a fulfilling life, find real human relationships instead of using others to climb the ladder.
Get to know the people around you.
Also, there is no reason to be so protective of your ideas and resources – share your knowledge with others
Unfortunately, the world of work is often lacking in true collaboration and creativity.
But you can work around these norms by changing the physical conditions around you, such as having people sit in circles during meetings
. Create a flat hierarchy to facilitate open and creative exchange. make room for fun,
Even during serious conferences. Taking these steps will make the bottom line better for everyone involved.
Chapter 5- If you want to achieve great things, define yourself as an achiever
What do you think of yourself? Are you done? Well, you should start calling yourself. Because achievement is ultimately a matter of self-image.
Meaning, if you begin to identify yourself as an achiever, you are likely to begin to achieve great things.
As children, we build our self-image based on what our parents and teachers tell us. But as adults, it is important for us to create and truly own our own self-image.
To understand the difference between how you see yourself and how others see you, ask five friends to write down five characteristics of your personality.
Compare their responses to your own: you’ll see some variety but also a lot of overlap
. This overlap will include some properties that you may want to keep and others that you may want to change
It is also important to understand your intentions. What do you want to check? Ask yourself what you would do if you only had ten minutes, ten hours and so on.
This way, you will be clear about what you really want
Setting your life goals is even harder. Because although you need a general sense of what you want out of life, you don’t have to be too strict about your path.
For example, you don’t have to stay within the prescribed limits of your profession.
It will not be easy to go off the beaten path – especially when family and society expect something else from you – but this should not deter you.
There will be failure any road you take, so don’t let that hold you back.
It should be noted that you can always leave the path you are currently on if it no longer makes sense.
To make sure you’re on the right track, keep asking yourself, Who am I? And what do I really want?
Conclusion
There are no « losers » or « lucky ones ». Achievement can be learned when labels are fixed
It’s the only thing holding you back. So to start getting what you want, rethink your goals and the obstacles that get in your way. Then start doing something about it.
Stop thinking about who is wrong and who is right.
Playing the game of right and wrong is a waste of time.
It just makes us angry and doesn’t produce anything useful.
Since « right » and « wrong » is sometimes a matter of perspective, you lose from the moment you start playing the game.
So instead of clinging to false certainty, accept the fact that different people have different opinions
You have read the summary of the book The Habit of Achievement. Bernard Roth
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